******  The French Castle Scene from "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"   ******

 King Arthur and his knights of the round table, along with their servants,
 "ride" up to a castle.  King Arthur's servant, Patsy, blows a horn.

 Arthur: HELLO!

 (waits)

 Arthur: HELLO!

 (waits)

 An armor-clad face appears at the top of the rampart.
 It speaks in an outrageous French accent.

 Soldier: 'Allo!  'Oo is it?
 Arthur: It is I, King Arthur, and these are my knights of the Round Table.
         Whose castle is this?
 S: This is the castle of my master, Guy de Lombard.
 A: Go and tell your master that we have been charged by God with a sacred
    quest.  If he will give us food and shelter for the night, he can join us
    in our quest for the Holy Grail.
 S: Well, I'll ask 'im, but I don't think 'e'll be very keen-- 'e's already got
    one, you see?
 A: What?
 Galahad: He says they've already *got* one!
 A: (confused) Are you *sure* he's got one?
 S: Oh yes, it's ver' naahs.
    (to the other soldiers:)  I told 'em we've already *got* one!
    (they snicker)
 A: (taken a bit off balance) Well... ah, um...  Can we come up and have a look?
 S: Of course not!  You are English types.
 A: Well, what are you then?
 S: (Indignant) Ah'm French!  Why do you think I have this out-rrrageous
    accent, you silly king?!
 A: What are you doing in *England*?
 S: Mind your own business!
 A: If you will not show us the Grail, we shall take your castle by force!
 S: You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs!  Go and boil your bottoms, son of a
    silly person!  Ah blow my nose at you, so-called "Arthur Keeeng"!  You and
    all your silly English Knnnnnnnn-ighuts!!!

 (the soldier proceeds to bang on his helmet with his hands and stick out his
 tongue at the knights, making strange noises.)

 Lancelot: What a strange person.
 A: (getting mad) Now look here, my good ma--
 S: Ah don' wanna talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food-trough
    wiper!  Ah unclog my nose at you! Ah fart in your gen'ral direction!
    Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!
 Galahad: Is there someone else up there we can talk to?
 S: No!!  Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time!