There's a Dead Bishop On The Landing (from Monty Python's Flying Circus)

 Mother:  (turning off radio) Liberal rubbish!  Klaus!
 Klaus:   Yeah?
 Mother:  Whaddaya want with yer jugged fish?
 Klaus:   'alibut.
 Mother:  The jugged fish IS 'alibut!
 Klaus:   Well, what fish 'ave you got that isn't jugged?
 Mother:  Rabbit.
 Klaus:   What, rabbit fish?
 Mother:  Uuh, yes...it's got fins....
 Klaus:   Is it dead?
 Mother:  Well, it was coughin' up blood last night.
 Klaus:   All right, I'll have the dead unjugged rabbit fish.

 Voice Over:
          One dead-unjugged-rabbit-fish later:

 Klaus:   (putting down his knife and fork) Well, that was really 'orrible.
 Mother:  Aaw, you're always complainin'!
 Klaus:   What's for afters?
 Mother:  Rat cake, rat sorbet, rat pudding, or strawberry tart.
 Klaus:   (eyes lighting up) Strawberry tart?
 Mother:  Well, it's got *some* rat in it.
 Klaus:   (suspiciously) 'Ow much?
 Mother:  Three.  Rather a lot, really.
 Klaus:   Well, I'll have a slice without so much rat in it.

 Voice Over:
          One slice of strawberry-tart-without-so-much-rat-in-it later:

 Klaus:   (putting down fork and knife) Appalling.
 Mother:  Moan, moan, moan!
 Son:     (coming in the door) 'Ello Mum. 'Ello Dad.
 Klaus:   'ello son.
 Son:     There's another dead bishop on the landing, Dad!
 Klaus:   Really?
 Mother:  Where's it from?
 Son:     Wot d'ya mean?
 Mother:  What's its diocese?
 Son:     Well, it looked a bit Bath and Wells-ish to me...
 Klaus:   (getting up and going out the door) I'll go and have a look.
 Mother:  I don't know...kids bringin' 'em in here....
 Son:     It's not me!
 Mother:  I've put three of 'em down by the bin, and the dustmen
          won't touch 'em!
 Klaus:   (coming back in) Leicester.
 Mother:  'Ow d'you know?
 Klaus:   Tattooed on the back o' the neck.  I'll call the police.
 Mother:  Shouldn't you call the church?
 Son:     Call the Church Police!
 Klaus:   All right. (shouting) The Church Police!

 (sirens racing up, followed by a tremendous crash as the Church Police
 burst in the door)

 Detective:
          What's all this then, Amen!
 Mother:  Are you the Church Police?
 All Church Police:
          (in unison) Ho, Yes!
 Mother:  There's another dead bishop on the landing, Vicar-Sergeant!
 Dect:    Uh, Detective-Parson, madam.  I see... suffrican, or diocisian?
 Mother:  'Ow should I know?
 Dect:    It's tatooed on the back o' their necks.  (notices the tart)
          'Ere, is that Rat Tart?
 Mother:  (in a small voice) Yes.
 Dect:    Disgusting!  Right!  Men, the chase is on!  Now we should all kneel!
 All:     (kneeling) O Lord, we beseech thee, tell us 'oo croaked Lester!

 (thunder)

 Voice of the Lord:
          The one in the braces, he done it!
 Klaus:   It's a fair cop, but society is to blame.
 Dect:    Agreed.  We'll be charging them too.
 Klaus:   I'd like you to take the three down by the bin into consideration.
 Dect:    Right.  I'll now ask you all to conclude this harrest with an 'ymn.
 All:     All things bright and beautiful,
          All creatures great and small,
          All things wise and wonderful,
          The church has nicked them all.
          Amen.