The Holy Hand Grenade (from Monty Python and the Holy Grail)

 (the knights rush out of the cave, huffing and puffing, to take cover
 from the vicious onslaught of the Killer Rabbit)

 All Knights:  RUN AWAY!  RUN AWAY!!
 Arthur:       Okay, how many did we lose?
 Lancelot:     Gawaine...
 Galahad:      ...Hector...
 Arthur:       ...and Bors.  That's five.
 Bedevere:     Three, sir!
 Arthur:       Three, three.  And we can't risk another frontal assault,
               that rabbit's dynamite!
 Robin:        Would it help to confuse it if we run away more?
 Arthur:       Shut up, and go and change your armor!
 Galahad:      Let us taunt it!  It will become so cross, it will make a
               mistake!
 Arthur:       (pause) Like what?
 Robin:        (a longer pause) Well...
 Lancelot:     Have we got bows?
 Arthur:       No.
 Galahad:      (brightly) We have the Holy Hand Grenade, Sire!
 Arthur:       Yes, of course!  'Tis one of the sacred relics that Brother
               Maynard carries with him!  Brother Maynard!  Bring out the
               Holy Hand Grenade!
 Monks:        (chanting)
               Die Jesu domine,
               Dona eis requiem.
               Die Jesu domine,
               Dona eis requiem.

 (a pause as Arthur examines the grenade, turning it over in his hands)

 Arthur:       How does it....how does it work?
 Lancelot:     I know not, my leige.
 Arthur:       Consult the Book of Armaments!
 High Priest:  Armaments Chapter Two, verses nine through twenty-seven:
 Brother Maynard:
               And Saint Attila raised the Holy Hand Grenade up
               on high saying, "Oh Lord, Bless us this Holy Hand
               Grenade, and with it smash our enemies to tiny
               bits, in thy mercy."
               And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast
               upon the lambs, and slothes, and orangutans, and
               breakfast cereals, and lima beans--
 High Priest:  (interrupting) Skip a bit, brother.
 Brother Maynard:
               And then the Lord spake, saying:
               "First, shalt thou take out the holy pin.
               Then shalt thou count to three.
               No more, no less.
               Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and
               the number of the counting shall be three.
               Four shalt thou *not* count, and neither count thou
               two, excepting that thou thenst procede to three.
               Five is RIGHT OUT.  Once the number three, being
               the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy
               Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch to-wards thy foe, who,
               being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.  Amen.
 All:          Amen.
 Arthur:       Right!  (pulls pin)
               One!
               Two!
               Five!
 Bedevere:     Three, Sire!!
 Arthur:       Three!  (throws hand grenade at the Killer Rabbit)

 (holy music as the grenade sails into the cave and
  the Killer Rabbit is blown into small pieces)