From: grail@python.monty.edu
 Subject: Help, Help, I'm being repressed!
 Source: Monty Python and the Holy Grail
 Date: 3 Feb 89 15:12:31 GMT

 [Arthur and Patsy are 'riding' through a field full of peasants pawing about in
 the mud and muck.  Arthur stops and asks directions of one of the peasants.]

 Arthur:    Old woman!
 Man:       Man.
 Arthur:    Sorry.  Who lives in that castle?
 Man:       ...and I'm not "Old," I'm only thirty-seven.
 Arthur:    Well, I can't just call you "Man."
 Man:       You *could* say "Dennis."
 Arthur:    I didn't know you were called Dennis.
 Man:       Well, you didn't bother to find out, did you?
 Arthur:    I did say sorry about the "old woman," but from behind you
            looked....
 Man:       What I object to is that you automatically treat me like an
            inferior.
 Arthur:    Well, I *am* King.
 Man:       Oh, King, eh?  Very nice.  And how'd you get that, then?  By
            exploiting the workers!  If there's ever going to be any
            progress...
 Old Woman: Dennis, there's some lovely filth down here.  (notices Arthur)
            Oh...how do you do?
 Arthur:    How do you do, good Lady.  I am Arthur, King of the Britons.
 Old Woman: King of the who?
 Arthur:    The Britons.
 Old Woman: Who are they?
 Arthur:    You.  Me.  We are all Britons.  And I am your King.
 Old Woman: I didn't know we had a King.  I thought we were an
            autonomous collective.
 Man:       You're foolin' yourself.  We're living in a dictatorship.  A
            self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes . . .
 Old Woman: There you go.  Bringing class into it again.
 Man:       That's what it's all about.  If only people would listen . . .
 Arthur:    Please, please, good people, I am in haste.  Who lives in
            that castle?
 Old Woman: No one lives there.
 Arthur:    Then who is your lord?
 Old Woman: We don't have a lord.
 Man:       I told you, we're an anarcho-syndacist commune.  We take it in
            turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week--
 Arthur:    Yes, yes, I see.
 Man:       --but, all the decisions of that officer must be ratified
            by a special by-weekly meeting--
 Arthur:    Please, be quiet.
 Man:       --by a two-thirds majority in the case of external affairs--
 Arthur:    Be quiet!
 Man:       --but by a simple majority in the case of purely internal
            affairs--
 Arthur:    Be quiet!  I order you to be quiet!
 Old Woman: "Order," eh?  Who does he think he is?
 Arthur:    I am your King.
 Old Woman: Well, I didn't vote for you.
 Arthur:    You don't vote for Kings!!!
 Old Woman: And how'd you get to be King, then?
 Arthur:    The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the finest shimmering
            samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water,
            signifying that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur.  That is
            why I'm your King!
 Man:       Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is
            no basis for a system of government.
 Arthur:    Shut up!
 Man:       Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the
            masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
 Arthur:    Will you shut up!
 Man:       I mean, you can't expect to wield supreme executive power, just
            'cause some moistened bint threw a sword at you.  I mean, if I
            went 'round, saying I was an emperor just 'cause some watery tart
            had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!

 [Arthur "dismounts" and manhandles Dennis]

 Man:       Oh, now we see the violence inherent in the system.  (yells)  Come
            see the violence inherent in the system!  Help, help, I'm being
            repressed!
 Arthur:    Bloody peasant!
 Man:       Oh, what a giveaway!  That's what I'm on about:  You saw him
            repressin' me, didn't you?