Three Wisemen: (from Monty Python's Life of Brian)

 Three camels are silhouetted against the bright stars of the
 moonless sky, moving slowly along the horizon.  A star leads
 them towards Bethlehem.  The Wise Men enter the gates of the
 sleeping town and make their way through the deserted streets.
 A dog snarls at them.  They approach a stable, out of which
 streams a beam of light.  They dismount and enter to find a
 typical manger scene, with a baby in a rough crib of straw and
 patient animals standing around.  The mother nods by the side
 of the child.  Suddenly she wakes from her lightish doze, sees
 them, shrieks and falls backwards off her straw.  She's up
 again in a flash, looking guardedly at them.  She is a ratbag.

 Mandy:        Who are you?
 Wise Man 1:   We are three wise men.
 Wise Man 2:   We are astrologers.  We have come from the East.
 Mandy:        Is this some kind of joke?
 Wise Man 1:   We wish to praise the infant.
 Wise Man 2:   We must pay homage to him.
 Mandy:        Homage!!  You're all drunk you are.  It's disgusting.
               Out, out!
 Wise Man 3:   No, no.
 Mandy:        Coming bursting in here first thing in the morning
               with some tale about Oriental fortune tellers...
               get out!
 Wise Man 1:   No.  No we must see him.
 Mandy:        Go and praise someone else's brat, go on.
 Wise Man 2:   We were led by a star.
 Mandy:        Led by a bottle, more like.  Get out!
 Wise Man 2:   We must see him.  We have brought presents.
 Mandy:        Out!
 Wise Man 1:   Gold, frankincense, myrrh.

 (her attitude changes immediately)

 Mandy:        Well, why didn't you say so?  He's over here...Sorry
               this place is a bit of a mess.  What is myrrh, anyway?
 Wise Man 3:   It is a valuable balm.
 Mandy:        A balm, what are you giving him a balm for?  It might
               bite him.
 Wise Man 3:   What?
 Mandy:        It's a dangerous animal.  Quick, throw it in the trough.
 Wise Man 3:   No it isn't.
 Mandy:        Yes it is.
 Wise Man 3:   No, no, it is an ointment.
 Mandy:        An ointment?
 Wise Man 3:   Look.
 Mandy:        (sampling the ointment with a grubby finger)
               Oh. There is an animal called a balm or did I dream it?
               You astrologers, eh?  Well, what's he then?
 Wise Man 2:   H'm?
 Mandy:        What star sign is he?
 Wise Man 2:   Capricorn.
 Mandy:        Capricorn, eh, what are they like?
 Wise Man 2:   He is the son of God, our Messiah.
 Wise Man 1:   King of the Jews.
 Mandy:        And that's Capricorn, is it?
 Wise Man 3:   No, no, that's just him.
 Mandy:        Oh, I was going to say, otherwise there'd be a lot of
               them.

 (The Wise Men are on their knees)

 Wise Man 2:   By what name are you calling him?

 (Dramatic Holy music)

 Mandy:        Brian.
 Three Wise Men:
               We worship you, Oh, Brian, who are Lord over
               us all.  Praise unto you, Brian and to the
               Lord our Father.  Amen.
 Mandy:        Do you do a lot of this, then?
 Wise Man 1:   What?
 Mandy:        This praising.
 Wise Man 1:   No, no, no.
 Mandy:        Oh!  Well, if you're dropping by again do pop in. (they
               take the hint and rise)  And thanks a lot for the gold
               and frankincense but...don't worry too much about the
               myrrh next time.  Thank you...Goodbye.  (to Brian)
               Well, weren't they nice...out of their bloody minds,
               but still...

 In the background we see the Wise Men pause outside another door
 as a gentle glow suffuses them.  They look at each other, confer
 and then stride back in and grab the presents from Mandy and turn
 to go again, pushing Mandy over.

 Mandy:        Here, here, that's mine, you just gave me that. Ow!